I am a girl/will be a woman. I feel I am just as equal as any man/boy, (though I’ve had my doubts.) And, sometimes I have problems with not all but some feminists. Sometimes, it seems that feminists are preaching hate to men other than love to women. Picture this: 1)A woman and a man are married, the man is very controlling. 2) A woman and a man are married, the woman is very controlling. I know that the world has had a different history towards woman than men, so the situation is no matter different. But, sometimes I think it’s to different.
A lot of feminists seem to come off to controlling, even hateful. Every single thing that a guy does or a movie shows is not always geered towards hurting women. Grey’s Anatomy in my opinion is not written directly or indirectly to teach women are less.
A few months ago, I had been hearing this idea, (the feminist doing the exact opposite than promoting women’s rights,) from my brother, my mom, and a lot of women I knew. I didn’t want to agree with it then, I didn’t agree with it. But now, I think it is completely true. To be a feminist and believe in yourself as a woman, you don’t have to be so extremely hard core, or give off the image that you hate men, you just don’t. And, not everything in your life has to automatically become a gender issue, if it does, than sexism lies just as much in your head than it does in the “real” George Bush. I just think that it’s not always a good image feminists give off, it has done the exact opposite of making me be okay with being a girl. It made me not like the color pink, not want to dress up, it made me feel guilty for wanting to impress a guy, or wanting a guy to like me. I am not a racist person, I feel that people of all races are equal. But, and this may make me sound hateful-but I’m not, a lot of times I get frustrated when someone who is African-American automatically thinks that people don’t like them for that-constantly, or thinks that people are getting mad at them for the secret reason of them being black.
As a feminist, as a women, I think I am equal to men, even though I love the color pink, I like the guy I have a crush on to like me. Feminists, (not all-but some,) sometimes give off the image that being girly-being a woman is a bad thing and that it automatically means your giving into men, it does not have to be that way. It really really doesn’t.
4 responses so far ↓
1 TCD // May 18, 2007 at 12:18 am
Try to see things from the other perspective.
While you and many others might not be aware racial issues, many Black people (African Americans) are constantly faced with, and reminded of their race every single day.
Its difficult for someone of a majority group to understand what its like to be a member of a minority group. Think about it, how often are you aware of, or think about, race when you are not around someone who is a different race than yourself?
Black people, being the minority, don’t have the option of not thinking about race.
As far as gender is concerned, I think you oversimplify the issue a bit. I don’t think most feminist hate men at all, for thousands of years men have dominated women. Only in the past one hundred or so years have women truly started to gain equality. I think feminist just want to be afforded the same respect and regard as men.
2 Jamia // May 18, 2007 at 10:26 am
I really appreciate you speaking your mind and love reading your posts. hI wantto share some dissenting opinions on a number of points however because I think that you are right, it is always best to explore the multiple sides of important issues like feminism and race…
I think that it is potentially dangerous to infer that African-Americans are always assuming that people are racist or attacking them. I think it is really important to understand the history of our struggle, the reality of racism (both covert and overt), and the blatant and understated effects of living in a country where white privilege is promoted that seep into our daily lives. I assume goodwill in all people, however I know that people are often ignorant of history or loaded phrases and words that cause pain to those who have been forced to be immersed in it because of the race they were born into.
I believe that we live in a racialized country because of the history of our great nation, and because of it, we all promote and adhere to racism in some ways everyday. This is why it is so important for us to talk about these issues and acknowledge them. If we don’t face racism we won’t ever fix it. I worry that assuming that African Americans are complaining constantly can end up backfiring, allowing for important incidents and isssues to be swept under the rug. This will hinder progress.
What is more important than focusing on whether complaining is valid or not is to focus on positivity, dialogue (talking with one another to work it out, figure out why people feel the way they do, share our motivations and intentions), and taking actions to understand each other and work together.
In terms of feminism, feminism is about equality for all. To be pro-woman is not about being anti-men.
Feminism is about justice for all people including women and families. Women have historically been disenfranchised and we need a forum to address issues that are important to our struggle and deconstruct those things that we experience that men (no matter how well intentioned) might not know about because they haven’t experienced it or haven’t learned to look with that lens.
My father and my boyfriend are both feminists. They understand that equality for them doesn’t exist without equality for me.
A few readings for you to consider:
White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack
I was taught to see racism only in individual acts of meanness, not in invisible systems conferring dominance on my group”
Peggy McIntosh
Read it here:
http://seamonkey.ed.asu.edu/~mcisaac/emc598ge/Unpacking.html
Class Action’s piece on Race, Class, and Gender Intersectionality
http://www.classactionnet.org/home_intersection.html
Angry Black White Boy: Adam Mansbach
http://www.amazon.com/Angry-Black-White-Boy-Novel/dp/1400054877
A blog I wrote for YP4: “I’m not a feminist but”
http://blog.youngpeoplefor.org/story/2007/1/24/174613/384
A short documentary by a teen about the realities of racism in America. Very moving piece:
http://www.komotv.com/home/video/5001856.html?video=YHI&t=ao
I hope you get a chance to check some of these out… I think they might be interesting for you to explore and think about. “)
3 Jamia // May 18, 2007 at 10:27 am
I really appreciate you speaking your mind and love reading your posts. hI wantto share some dissenting opinions on a number of points however because I think that you are right, it is always best to explore the multiple sides of important issues like feminism and race…
I think that it is potentially dangerous to infer that African-Americans are always assuming that people are racist or attacking them. I think it is really important to understand the history of our struggle, the reality of racism (both covert and overt), and the blatant and understated effects of living in a country where white privilege is promoted that seep into our daily lives. I assume goodwill in all people, however I know that people are often ignorant of history or loaded phrases and words that cause pain to those who have been forced to be immersed in it because of the race they were born into.
I believe that we live in a racialized country because of the history of our great nation, and because of it, we all promote and adhere to racism in some ways everyday. This is why it is so important for us to talk about these issues and acknowledge them. If we don’t face racism we won’t ever fix it. I worry that assuming that African Americans are complaining constantly can end up backfiring, allowing for important incidents and isssues to be swept under the rug. This will hinder progress.
What is more important than focusing on whether complaining is valid or not is to focus on positivity, dialogue (talking with one another to work it out, figure out why people feel the way they do, share our motivations and intentions), and taking actions to understand each other and work together.
In terms of feminism, feminism is about equality for all. To be pro-woman is not about being anti-men.
Feminism is about justice for all people including women and families. Women have historically been disenfranchised and we need a forum to address issues that are important to our struggle and deconstruct those things that we experience that men (no matter how well intentioned) might not know about because they haven’t experienced it or haven’t learned to look with that lens.
My father and my boyfriend are both feminists. They understand that equality for them doesn’t exist without equality for me.
4 Maddie Lear // May 18, 2007 at 11:40 pm
My blog was not about all feminists. But most. Truly, to be a feminist you don’t have to be hateful or cold. And-even if you say you don’t come off hateful to men, a lot of people (feminists) do, and make it seem to me that all men are bad, that many many are anti-equal rights.
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