The new Carrie Underwood song is great for turning up really loud and blaring as you drive really fast down the street, but it’s also great because it provokes a really great discussion about cheating. What interests me is not why men cheat on their girlfriends or wives, but why women knowingly get involved with men who are already attached.
I think, plainly put, it’s one of the most cut-throat, anti-feminist things a woman can do. We’ve established that women can be incredible competitive with one another when a guy is up for grabs… but when he isn’t up for grabs and a woman decides to go for him anyway, I feel like that is a slap in the face to sisterhood.
I actually had a friend who was sleeping with a guy who had a long-term girlfriend… and I just couldn’t be her friend anymore. She wanted someone to constantly gush to about her “relationship,” and I, frankly, didn’t want to hear it, because some woman was going to sleep at night with her boyfriend, thinking all was well and they might be engaged soon, when really, her guy was “working late” at bars with my friend (and at my friend’s apartment!).
In fact, I really hate the entire season of Sex and the City when Carrie is sleeping with Mr. Big, despite that he’s married to Natasha. It takes all of romance out of the clothes, the city, and the people.
4 responses so far ↓
1 Jamia // Jun 27, 2007 at 5:16 pm
AMEN. I am all about playing by the playground rules. What goes around comes around? And who wants someone elses sloppy seconds?
Snap!
2 TheKillersFan // Jul 2, 2007 at 12:19 pm
I think that one reason why women don’t “care” about being the women that men use to cheat on their gf’s or wives is well explained in Sandra Cisneros short story “Never Marry A Mexican” Some women realize that some men will cheat on them one way or another and at one point or another and as a result end up hurt. Therefore, some women think that they don’t want to be the ones getting hurt and decide to be the one the man cheats with on. The woman he uses to cheat on feels as if she has complete control over two people. Kinda complicated and twisted. But please read the story if you can. [:
Also, I come from a family where my mom went out with a married man [my father] and she became pregnant with me. Women, like my mother, are so defenseless that sometimes they don’t have complete control over certain situations. I’m not trying to say that she has no blame. What I’m getting to is that we as women need to educate ourselves better in playing a better role in dealing with how our actions affect our “sisterhood”.
Sorry for writing alot.
3 Hollis // Jul 2, 2007 at 2:45 pm
I do agree that cheating (whether by male or female) is absolutely disgusting, but I do almost feel pity for women who cheat. Crazy I know, but the women that I know who have cheated on their own significant other or with some other lady’s significant other have cheated due to an insecurity. Not to excuse all cheaters, but really, I think sometimes that we need to consider the whole picture and maybe try and understand that it goes much further than the act of taking another “girl’s man.” Still though, I find it difficult to understand it myself. Cheating ALWAYS equals bad bad bad news.
4 shaia // Jan 16, 2008 at 6:02 pm
I feel dat the reason why a woman would want to do such a thing to another woman is due to jealousy and yes jealousy boils down to insecurity.But that does not make her the victim of this, the only victim is the loyal party of this twisted love triangle,which would be me.My so called friend and my fiance did it to me whilst i endured a planned pregancy she wanted what i had, and she now feels better knowing that he’d risk all he had with me for her thats why she did it
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