This is going to be one of the more inappropriate things we discuss on Girl HeadQuarters, and I recommend that everyone who isn’t interested in reading thoroughly sexual content stop reading now and enjoy this hilarious LOL Cat. Everyone else, please continue reading below the photo.

This Details article, “Is It Okay to Demand Anal Sex?” is THE reason why feminism is still necessary. An unfortunate number of men still see women as receptacles for their sexuality, rather than participants in sex and see sex (especially anal sex) as an act of conquering rather than an act of intimacy. And notice the picture accompanying this article, dehumanizing a woman and turning her into a tunnel.

For other men, the appeal of anal penetration is less the novelty—and the fact that it gives them a good story to tell over beers—and more the psychology. “For most of my friends, it’s sort of a domination thing,” says John (not his real name), 30, a writer in New York. “[It’s] basically getting someone in a position where they’re most vulnerable. My friends enjoy that and they tell their friends they did it. But it’s not like girls are ready for it—it’s something they do when they’re really drunk.”

“There’s an erotic undercurrent about being in control of a situation,” says Edward Ratush, a psychiatrist and sex therapist in New York. “It’s a very ego-focused thing for the guy.”

Albert (his middle name), a good-looking 29-year-old who’s fairly well-known in the music industry, says he asks the women he dates to have anal sex with him because it raises the level of intimacy in the relationship. He doesn’t demand anal sex—especially not if it’s a one-time hookup—but he won’t commit to a woman who refuses to grant him a backstage pass. “I had a girlfriend who I was with for a long time and she wasn’t into it,” Albert says. “There was definitely a thing in the back of my head like, ‘I can’t marry her.’ How can I, knowing I can’t go to all the places I can go with her? The physicality of it, being painful or whatever, shows how comfortable the girl is with you.” Here, he pointedly stops short of romanticizing screwing a woman rectally. “Ideally, every girl is a disgusting pig who wants it,” he says. “But only with you.”

Now, what drives me even crazier is that I considered shooting an e-mail to some feminist organizations to spread the word about the misogyny of this article, but I doubt they would go into action mode because many of today’s feminists are so set on “personal empowerment” that they are too timid to confront women making negative, anti-feminist choices (i.e. being pressured to have sex with these, to borrow a quote from Albert “disgusting pigs”) that HURT WOMEN because these feminists don’t want to risk not allowing women to make choices.

(I personally am fine with restricting some of women’s choices if it means enhancing the progress of women as a whole. That’s why I support the criminalization of sex work, because I feel that if we are content with establishing women as commodities for hire, how can we completely change gears and view women in positions of REAL power… in college classrooms, in NASA, and in the Oval Office. Which isn’t to say that we should criminalize anal sex, but it is to say that we live in a sexist society that encourages women to make choices that work against their interests, and instead of encouraging these women to be toyed with by patriachy in favor of free choice, we should encourage them to reconsider their choices).

While I’m not saying that women shouldn’t have anal sex (although, it’s certainly not my thing), I do think that women need to understand that being pressured into a sexual act that is understood by most to be incredibly painful is not empowering. You know those lubricants that are made especially for anal sex? They contain numbing agents so one can’t feel the pain!

If you personally are into having anal sex, whatever, go for it, but do it because you want to and because you want to get close with someone–for all of our sakes, don’t have it with one of these guys who wants to “dominate you.” Otherwise, you’re worse off than the adopted kid with a cat in her cake. Or the woman with a train about to go in her butt.