I was just reading some of the archives, some of my older posts, and they all just made me so happy. About a week ago, I started a fast start program at my new school, which was a way for new kids to adjust, get comfortable, and I went from having a peaceful, wake up late, wear whatever I want and feel peaceful about it, comfortable (in some ways,) happy easy summer to STRESS! All of a sudden, I was waking up at 730, going to school for 3 hours, caring so much about what I wore, and what people thought of me!
What I think is really needed is to keep a little touch of summer in you throughout your year, throughout your life. The only thing to keep you grounded, to keep you being you is to find some way of peace. I was reading some of my posts that we’re about love and peace, and I think sometimes I just need to relearn my own lessons. There are always going to be times where I’m not comforatble with who I am, with who I’m with, with who I’m becoming, but I think what I need most is to reassure myself that no matter what, no matter anything, I’ll always end up being me. I think the main thing to do that is just to find love and peace, anywhere. So thankyou so much GHQ, for giving me a sisterhood, a kind of support system, something I can rely on, people to rely on and learn about, and a place to just have fun! I hope you are all having a wonderful and amazing summer! And I hope that you find your own summers in the falls and winters and springs that follow. But for now, I’m going to be daring and post a pretty rough poem that I wrote, actually, I guess this morning. Be merciful!

august 30, 2007, thursday

and frustration is a youthful gift
of two souls converged into one
for I have seen the falcons soar
and they don’t look like doves anymore

and love is an overwhelming possesion
that beats around the bush
…everytime
as I long to back out-
I long to back in!
the bush moves everytime

and youth is a coming and going
but really here all the while
for I am no older than I was then
but no younger than ever before

and love is a scary thing
one that will stay when I’m gone
one that makes me cry when I’m happy
and sad
not knowing what’s underneath

because my voice is still searching for notes
I don’t know, I don’t know where to grasp
for writing comes easily
but what about everything else?