I am thinking a lot about luck and whether or not I believe in it today… I tried to throw the Calvinist indoctrination to the wayside… And explore this idea… Do I believe in luck? I don’t really believe in coincidences… Do i believe in miracles… or unexplained escalations of fortunes when Ibelieve essentially in the ebb and flow of fortune changing all the time?
What goes up…
always comes down.
It is inevitable.
And what has met the depths of darkness has no where to go but upward if it is not yet time for the end. I find comfort in both. It keeps us honest. It keeps things just.
As usual, many thoughts come from a song stuck in my head. This one keeps circling my mind. Nothing is permanent in this life and space. And this reality draws us all into so many directions… I used to remember my dad telling me that I shouldn’t ever describe myself as lucky… That this was a death wish… and never trust in those who thrived on the notion of dumb luck…
He always told me that I could always tell myself that I wished for good fortune today… and the strength to endure when it is tested and tried… when that low became known to me… When I needed to have the energy to scrape myself off the ground… and rebuild. and fall again. and rebuild. and fall. and grow.
Because of this notion of posessing some form of luck… I think some people float. They flit around. They drift unintentionally.
I have intentions. I dig my nails deep. I’m etching my name. I’m scratching the earth… And holding on for the highs… And gripping tight to survive that inevitable storm.
“Lucky”– Radiohead…
I’m on a roll, I’m on a roll
This time, I feel my luck could change
Kill me Sarah, kill me again with love
It’s gonna be a glorious day
Pull me out of the aircrash
Pull me out of the lake
I’m your superhero
We are standing on the edge
The Head of State has called for me by name
But I don’t have time for him
It’s gonna be a glorious day
I feel my luck could change
Pull me out of the aircrash
Pull me out of the lake
I’m your superhero
We are standing on the edge
6 responses so far ↓
1 Celise // Oct 8, 2007 at 12:52 pm
What’s interesting is that my BF doesn’t really believe in luck, either. She’s the type of person that will “throw thoughts into the universe” and wait to see what will happen. She’s a firm believer in stuff like that.
2 Kate // Oct 8, 2007 at 8:11 pm
hey jamia…i used to think at times things were just lucky or unlucky. last january i was supposed to intern at people magazine’s d.c. bureau but time, inc. went bankrupt. my dream job died a little bit with it. i used to think there’s no way God didn’t want me to have that, it must be bad luck. now i believe fully that everything happens for a reason, and even though something may suck now, it’s going to all work itself out in the end, luck or no luck! great post.
3 Jamia // Oct 9, 2007 at 4:33 pm
We have to trust in the universe… Whether we like it or not, it usually pulls us in one direction or the other… sometimes the journey is joyous… other times we’re kicking and screaming. “)
4 Maddie Lear // Oct 9, 2007 at 11:19 pm
Your words are beautiful. I was thinking about it, and i don’t know if i can call myself a poet or a musician or maybe just someone who does believe in miracles and love, that’s i think the best way to put it, to me your words are a miracle. they’re truly beautiful.
peace and love
5 Jamia // Nov 1, 2007 at 12:35 am
xoxoxoxox love you maddie. thanks for your wonderful comment!
6 Tuesdai Noelle // Nov 19, 2007 at 4:56 pm
One word…really? I love the ambition of your writing it’s very straight forward. Lacking nothing but someone to read it. This day and age needs someone who will just come out and tell it like the see it happening. You never know who’s feeling indirectly the same way, or have the same feelings and thoughts.
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