Blair Brettschneider is a junior at the University of Miami majoring in journalism and American Studies and is currently interning at Shape Magazine. In Miami, she works as one of the editors of the campus magazine and serves as philanthropy chair of her sorority, Alpha Delta Pi. Outside of classes, she enjoys community service, travel, college football, and karaoke. Blair is planning to pursue a career in magazine journalism. Here’s Blair!

“hey what’s up wanna go out k thx bye”

At what point did text messages become an appropriate way to ask a girl out on a date? Call me old fashioned, but I like to at least hear the voice of the lad I’m going to be sharing an awkward meal with before I agree to spend my evening doing so.

Besides the basic principle of the matter, here are more reasons why text message ask-outs are a huge “don’t”- no exceptions!

1. We met at a social function. You were a little out of control, I gave you my number just to save you from being embarrassed in front of your frat bros, and now you’re texting me at 11 PM asking me what’s up. My respect for you was pretty low already considering the night we first became acquainted was the same night you tried to make out with the bartender, who, as it turns out, is a mother of three. You could have redeemed yourself by actually dialing my number, making a few jokes about how you’ve learned your lesson, and suggesting we get together sometime (no drinks involved). But you chose to confirm my doubts and use the text… so I’m afraid this just isn’t going to work.

2. We’ve been friends for a while now. We watch The Office together, we always seem to attend the same political on-campus activities, and our conversations are never boring. Then, all of a sudden, there’s this tension that’s never been there before. I just liked you as a friend but now I get jealous whenever you talk about hanging out with other girls and I get the sense that the feeling is mutual (I told you how I saw that Jurassic Park screening with another guy and you did not seem too pleased). So you decide to take things to the next level- maybe we should be more than friends. Unfortunately, you decided to text me about it. Normally if you want to get together, you call. But not anymore. Now you’re freaking out about what’s going to happen to our friendship if we actually go on some sort of date. In order to back out of actually asking me out, you decide to let T9 do the talking. “I have 2 tix to John Mayer do u want 2 go?” Although I would gladly see J-May even if the second ticket belonged to a leper, you have just escalated the weirdness between us. Now all of our emotions are going to forever be conveyed via text. We’ll have a great time at the concert, say “see ya” and get in our cars. But then you’ll probably text me something along the lines of: “I had a gr8 time. U r awesome, call me 2morrow.” No relationship will blossom from any of this because in person we’re just friends. Love can’t be born of abbreviated messages of romance.

3. We both really like each other. You get in an elevator one day and decide to text me about dinner and a movie later. You hit “send,” stick the phone in your man purse, never see the “sending message failed!” flash across the screen, think I’m a bitch for not responding, and never talk to me again. Guess what– YOU’RE the loser for texting, and I would have said yes. I hope your new girlfriend can give you lots of textual healing.